In the Dark
by Kathryn Hart
Summary: One day Rose sees the Doctor in his new TARDIS, wearing a tweed jacket and a bow tie. And suddenly her life with the clone Doctor is turned to hell, and the only one who can save her from herself is the Doctor. But Rose hates him with all her being for what happened and doesn't want to see him. Can he change her mind and show her the love they used to have? Eleven/10.5/Rose
1. Secrets in the Dark

**In the Dark - by Kathryn Hart**

**_Summary: Everything's going just fine and dandy for Rose Tyler and her new half-human Doctor. Then one day Rose sees the Doctor in his new TARDIS, clothed in a tweed jacket and a bowtie. And suddenly her life is turned to hell, and the only one who can save her from herself is the Doctor. There's only one problem: Rose hates him with all her being, blaming him for what happened and doesn't want to see him. Can he change her mind and show her the love they used to have? Can he admit to himself that he still loves her?  
_**

_**Genre: Angst/Hurt/Comfort/Drama/Romance/Friendship**_

**_Rating: T for dark themes, a sensual scene and minor language  
_**

**Inspired by the manip I made a while ago on DeviartArt. Not intended to be a full fanfic, but I had a lot of requests to make it a reality, so here you go! View the original manip here: rosebadwolftyler. devianart (.-c-o-m-/) art/ In-the-Dark-Eleven-Rose-329204468 (remove the spaces, () and - in com)  
**

* * *

_"Tainted, has our love grown cold in a place that's bitter and broken? We tasted of a world unknown. Surely there must be something better. Something forever." ~Lifehouse  
_

* * *

Chapter One: Secrets in the Dark

The first time it happened no one was really aware of it. Rose and the "Clone Doctor", aptly named John Noble, had been relaxing on the couch after a hard day's work at the Torchwood in their universe. Things between the two of them could be called a bit strained, considering that the real Doctor's memories still kept them from connecting on a deeper level. It was probably this distraction that caused them to miss what was initially wrong with Rose in the first place.

So anyways, late night, on the couch, the two of them watching a movie neither of them had seen, nor had even been made in their original universe. Rose felt especially weary; the two of them had spent the whole day tracking down a bird-like alien that had been terrorizing a small coastal town for weeks. Once captured and subdued, they then had to spend the late hours trying to get information on why it had been doing so in the first place. John was about ready to give up after hours of no luck but Rose didn't want to back down. Finally her step-father Pete stepped in and decided for them, giving them the next two days off for such diligent work.

Late night, on the couch, new movie, Rose especially weary. Got it? Okay.

Rose inched closer to her new Doctor and warily put her head on his shoulder, thinking he might pull away from her. Instead he looked down at her in surprise and gave her a dazzling smile. There were no words said on what was running through his mind, but it wasn't hard to guess. So, in a daring move, Rose snuggled in closer, remembering the time she had done this with her real Doctor, the night he had proudly shown her Back to the Future, a classic he was horrified to hear she hadn't seen yet and had demanded to rectify immediately.

As Rose snuggled in closer to him, she felt the long hours of her day catching up on her. Her eyes began to drift closed but as they did, she experienced the weirdest sensation, for only a fraction of a second there was a tingling at the back of her head and she saw an image of a strange, futuristic-looking room with a glass floor. She blinked and everything was back to normal, watching the movie with her new Doctor. Something in her head told her not to put this off so easily, but she was so tired she shrugged it off to the weariness of her mind playing tricks on her.  
Oh how she would regret that decision in the days to come.

* * *

John hadn't really been paying attention either. The moment Rose had put her head on his shoulder his mind was inundated with a thousand thoughts flying at a hundred kilometers an hour. Ever since they kissed on the beach (oh that glorious kiss!) He had let himself hope that he could finally have what he'd wanted for the past four years (counting the year that never was): a very domestic life with Rose Tyler.

And he had been prepared for her mixed feelings on it. Sure, she was going to pine after the other Doctor for a while, he just hadn't counted on it being this long. They'd been in this world for three months and she still couldn't look him in the eye without looking down guiltily, much less give any sort of physical contact.

There was that one time a few weeks ago when she had tripped on the last stair but he had caught her before she fell. She merely extracted herself from his grip immediately and thanked him, before rushing down the hallway to her bedroom with the bed only she slept on. His single heart was beating only for her, couldn't she see how much this was killing him?

All of these thoughts flew away as they were replaced by ones of joy and hope. Hope that they could do this every night, not just cuddle, but other 'fun things', get married, start a family, life the life he had never dared dream before.

So you see how easy it was to get distracted at that moment when, for only an 65th of a second (yes those genes from DoctorDonna still lingered with no side affects), he felt as if she wasn't beside him, that her head wasn't on his shoulder and she had somehow disappeared. But when he looked down at her she was still there, nearly asleep.

He merely chalked this up to just the counteractive to all this wishful thinking, that she would someday leave him.  
Oh how right he was.

* * *

The second time it happened Rose was definitely aware of it, and chose to hide it from her friends and family...

ONE MONTH LATER

"Hey honey," Rose grinned as John walked up to her and kissed her on the cheek. "We got a live one, Jake says it's another outbreak of Weevils. Y'know, I've been wondering what all the fuss is about them, since I haven't heard of them, much less seen one."

"That's because they come out of the rift, didn't Jack ever tell the Doctor that?" John looked at Rose sharply. It was the first time she had ever mentioned the Doctor after he left them on Bad Wolf Bay.

"No, the last time I saw him we were batting Davros and the time before that the Master. His work life never really come up." Rose cocked her head. She was so worried about offending John by asking him about the Doctor's adventures after they were separated and she was curious about this 'Master'. Well, that would have to change soon."Besides, the rift was created in the other universe, how can stuff come out of it here?" Rose shrugged.

"We're not exactly sure, but it could be because the TARDIS has landed here a few times after that initial event that caused the rift to open, sort of like building a bridge that can be crossed both ways, with the rift smack dab in the middle."

"Charles Dickens, the Gelth?" It was a statement rather than a question.

"Our second date," they both grinned, and time seemed to freeze for them as they remembered that time so long ago...

"Okay!" John yelled, startling her out of her reverie. "Weevils! I can't wait!"

"Only you can get excited about something like this!" Rose shouted as John sped off for the door.

"Oi, watch it Blondie!" He shouted over his shoulder. Rose giggled.

"Hang on, I have to grab my coat!" She ran back into the room and grabbed her favorite blue leather jacket, the one she had been wearing when she was looking for the Doctor all those months ago.

As her fingers brushed up against the leather, Rose gasped as a headache flared and a flash went off in front of her eyes. For a moment she was back in that room with the glass floor.

There was a man wearing a tweed jacket and a bowtie sitting on steps leading upwards looking absolutely miserable.

"They were your parents," he said to someone behind her. Rose spun around to see who he was talking to but her eyes flashed again.

Her breath came in ragged gasps as she gripped the chair her jacket was on, back in Torchwood, in her world.

"No," she gasped. Not when she was finally beginning to accept her new life, not when things were going so well between her and John.

Because she had a feeling that that was the Doctor, and the room he was in was the TARDIS. Who he was talking to was of no consequence, at least for her.

A couple months ago she would have been overjoyed at what was happening, but now she was angry and very, very scared. Being with John, having him kiss her, make love to her, it was everything she had dreamed about with the Doctor and more.

That was why she had felt so guilty at first. She always thought that their friendship was more important than anything else life had to offer. But now she could admit she was wrong. Tonight she was going to ask him how he felt about having children. She knew he'd absolutely love starting a family.

But now the Doctor was butting back into their lives, ruining everything they had worked for, and Rose couldn't allow that. She loved John too much.

So she bit her lip, swallowed the negative feelings down, grabbed her jacket, and headed out the door, all memories of the experience pushed to the back of her mind.

* * *

The next few times were pretty much the same as the second time it happened, except every time it grew stronger and more painful, but so far she had managed to keep it a secret from everyone.

And she didn't always see the TARDIS, sometimes all she saw was an empty street, or a deserted road. And not always on Earth, and not always in the same time period. What those things had to do with the Doctor she had no idea. She just wished this problem would go away and she would never see the Doctor again, except of course if she needed him.

And she would need him, very soon.

* * *

The day had been pretty quiet so far, but Rose's head hurt like hell. She popped another aspirin in her mouth but threw the bottle in a drawer as she heard John enter their bedroom.  
"Hey there beautiful." Rose turned around and flashed him her biggest smile, hoping he wouldn't notice the pain she was in.

"Hey yourself." She sighed in content as he wrapped his arms around her frame. She leaned against him, putting her ear on his chest and listened to the comforting beat of his single heart. John made a noise of pleasure as he buried his face in her shoulder.

"I have a surprise for you," he whispered in her ear.

"Really, for me? What is it?" She pulled her face away to look at him, her eyes shining in curiosity.

"Oh no sunshine, not until tonight when your family comes over for dinner." Rose could barely hold in a squee of excitement. This morning she had spied him holding a ring in a box when he thought she wasn't in the room. He was going to propose, tonight! All her dreams were coming true, finally she could-

"Rose!" John cried as her knees suddenly buckled. She let out a scream as her entire body felt like it was on fire. John could only watch in horror as she faded away from him.

* * *

"No!" Rose cried in agony as she collapsed in an unknown parking lot. "John!" She sobbed into her hands when she realised what had happened. She was in the other universe, away from her life, her family, and the man she loved.

After crying for a few minutes she wiped the tears from her eyes and took note of her surroundings. It was early morning, so there was no one in the parking lot she had appeared in. And this was the longest she had ever been transported.

She stood up and turned around, looking for a familiar police box. She still wanted to blame this all on him, but there was also the possibility that he could be the only one to help her now. Only there was no TARDIS.

Rose took a step forward and gasped as the pain came back. She held her stomach, trying to grasp any sort of relief, when all of a sudden her vision went hazy and she collapsed again, this time unconscious.

* * *

When Rose opened her eyes again she saw someone she never thought she'd see again.  
"Oh John, I thought I'd lost you!" She threw herself forward into his arms. John held her as she cried.

"You scared the bloody daylights out of me Rose!" She pulled back and saw the terror still lingering in his eyes. "One moment you were there, the next you were gone, screaming like you were dying." He took a deep breath before continuing. "Three days you were gone Rose! Then I find you on our doorstep, unconscious, like that for another two days! I thought I lost you forever! I had to lie to your family, I couldn't face them and tell them what had happened to you. I could barely process it myself without losing it. I thought I'd never see you again, Rose you have to tell me everything that happened!" Rose lowered her head in shame.

"I've been lying to you for the past year, John. I'm so sorry, I never thought it would happen like this and I never meant to hurt you but...it's happened before." She raised a hand to stop John's outburst. "I never meant to hurt you," she whispered again, tears steaming down her face. John looked at her sympathetically and leaned over to hug her.

"Tell me everything that happened Rose, where were you, where did you go?"

"Well, this time I woke up in a parking lot, I don't know where, but it was in the other universe."

"How do you know? You could have been anywhere."

"Because, a couple times...I've seen what I'm pretty sure is the TARDIS...and the Doctor, if he's regenerated again." John was silent for a moment. "John?" She asked as he stood up and ran a hand through his hair. Finally he turned on her, his features angry and full of hurt.

"It always comes back to him, doesn't it? No matter how hard I try I'll always be second best to you!"

"No, that's not true!" Rose tore the bed sheets off her and leapt up. "You're all I need, all I want right now. You're my Doctor, and...and, I love you." She looked him deep in the eyes, before her own eyes flicked down to his lips. He caught the movement and closed the distance between them for a passionate kiss. Rose replied with all her energy, throwing her arms around him, one hand running through his hair. "My Doctor," she stated possessively in between kisses. She inhaled sharply as his hands slipped under her top.

"Rose," John whispered huskily, the terrors he'd had to experience the past week catching up with him. "Rose, I need you."

"Okay," she agreed, grabbing his tie and pulling him in towards their bed.

* * *

"You have to tell your family," John said, his fingers drawing Gallifreyan love symbols across Rose's bare skin.

"Tonight," she replied, getting up to lean over him, her lips hovering over his. John groaned in pleasure, all previous thoughts seemingly forgotten.

* * *

That night, rescheduling their earlier plans, John and Rose had Jackie, Pete, and Rose's little brother Tony over to the little flat that they shared.

"What's this all about sweetheart?" Jackie said as she guided Tony over to the couch. Four years old and as cute as hell. Rose smiled at how normal they all looked, feeling the back of her eyes burn with unshed tears at how it might all end soon, at least for her.

Rose waited until they were all seated on the couch. She stood in front of them, with John behind her for support.

"I'm going to start this out by saying that none of this is John's fault and you can't blame him for anything, okay?" She waited to continue until both Jackie and Pete agreed. "When John said I was sick, so sick you couldn't come see me, well, that was a lie. I wasn't sick," she waited to see if Jackie would get upset, either at her or John, but she just sat there holding Tony with a befuddled look on her face. "It's hard to explain exactly what's been happening, I don't really know myself but..." she struggled with the right words to say.

"Her body's been, for some unknown reason, transporting over to the other universe, with adverse side affects," Rose turned to look back at John, a grateful smile and a single tear running down her face.

"Adverse side affects?" Jackie finally spoke up, handing Tony to her husband. "Honey, is this...thing hurting you?" Rose couldn't reply, she just nodded, tears streaming down her face. Jackie leapt up and embraced her daughter. Rose tried to keep it together but a few sobs escaped. While they were hugging, Pete turned to John.

"Any way you know how to stop this?" John shook his head.

"I need to know at least an inkling of what's going on before I can try to fix it." Finally Rose and Jackie released each other, wiping the tears from their eyes.

"I don't know if we can stop this mum, or how much time we have left."

"No sense wasting it then," Rose spun around to see John kneeling in front of her. She gasped as he pulled a ring out of his pocket, the one she had seen him with earlier but had completely forgotten about. "Rose, I know the future might seem a bit bleak and uncertain, but I want to spend every moment we have left together, no matter how cheesy it sounds." Rose half laughed, half sobbed. "So Rose Tyler, will you have the honor-"

"Yes! Yes of course you idiot!" She interrupted the rest of his carefully prepared proposal by throwing herself at him with so much force that she knocked them over. Sprawled on the floor, they both began laughing. John helped her sit up and put the ring on her finger. Pete smiled, Jackie wiped tears from her eyes and Tony demanded to know what was going on and why everyone was crying.

* * *

The ceremony was a very small ordeal. Jackie had objected at first, dreaming for years of the day where she could plan a huge wedding for her only daughter, but had relented after realising John and Rose wanted to get married as soon as possible. Only a few friends and coworkers were invited, of course Tony would be the ring bearer and Pete would give his step-daughter away.

* * *

_The morning of the wedding..._

"Oh honey, you look so beautiful." Jackie wiped happy tears from her eyes, seeing her daughter in a gorgeous mermaid-style wedding dress. The dress was the only extravagant thing about this whole wedding. Rose had let her mother handle at least that, and had to agree Jackie had outdone herself.

"It's marvelous," Rose spun around in front of a floor-length mirror, loving the way the dress accented her curves to the highest degree. "John's eyes will melt off when he sees me in this."

"Are you truly happy with this sweetheart?" Rose looked at her mother's reflection in the mirror.

"I am mum. I really am. If you had told me this would happen two years ago, I would have hated it. I thought all I ever wanted was the Doctor. I guess I still do love him, in a way, but John has given me everything the Doctor never could. I mean, of course I miss all the travelin' and stuff, but, as I told the Doctor once, there's no one else I'd rather be stuck with." Jackie was quiet for a moment.

"Well, if that half Time Lord man is good enough for you, then he's good enough for me."

"Who's good enough for you Jacks?" John appeared at the doorway, dressed in a dapper black suit.

"John!" Rose shouted. "Don't you know it's unlucky to see a bride before her wedding?" John looked thoroughly confused.

"I thought we were having a Gallifreyan wedding."

"Yes of course, what we can." John didn't have access to his Gallifreyan traditional robes nor a high priest to perform the ceremony, but, as they had agreed on earlier, they would perform the sacred vows which John had taught Rose the right Gallifreyan words to say. They would also have their wrists tied together with a red ribbon for the entire ceremony, sealing their bond for life. The rest of the wedding would be in traditional Earth style. "What's that got to do with seeing me before the wedding?" She waved at her mother as Jackie left to give them as little privacy.

"It's tradition on Gallifrey for the future husband and wife to kiss right before the ceremony, for luck." Rose couldn't hold back a grin.

"Sure it is." Sarcasm dripped from her voice. John grabbed his chest, as if in pain.

"You doubt me, me of all people?"

"Oh come here then," John came up and grabbed her shoulders. As their lips were about to touch, Rose suddenly collapsed.

"Rose!" John was able to catch her before she fell. He laid her down on the floor and she began to shiver violently. "Rose, Rose, listen to me!" John grabbed the sides of her face and forced her eyes to focus on him. "Rose, find the Doctor!" He wasn't sure if she had understood, but it was too late. His single heart clenched in horror as she vanished out of his arms.

* * *

Far away and long ago, in a tiny house, a woman was in the kitchen, preparing breakfast for her husband and her young son when she heard a noise at the door.

She wiped the flour off her fifties style apron and strode to the door, her red hair bouncing in its pony tail. She opened it and gasped. A woman in a very futuristic-for-that-time wedding dress lay unconscious on her doorstep.

"Rory!" Amy Pond-Williams cried. "Come here, now!"

* * *

**Please review, tell me what you think! I highly recommend listening to that Lifehouse song, it's called "The Beginning" and is the theme for this story :)**


	2. Fear of the Dark

**4 reviews is enough for an update, wouldn'tcha think? :) Obvious spoilers for Angels Take Manhattan!**

Chapter 2: Fear of the Dark

_"Hello from the world below. I'm watching the sun burning As the road is slowly turning. And I know that in letting go, I'm learning how to live Through the life I have to give."_

* * *

"I don't know, I just found her there, see if you can get her to wake up." Amy left the room, hearing Anthony start to cry. Rory leaned over the blonde lying on their couch. She was definitely from the future. This style of dress wouldn't be popular for weddings for another sixty years.

He wondered where she came from. Neither him nor Amy had seen anything weird like this, not since they had stopped travelling with the Doctor and became trapped in New York in the forties.

He checked the woman's pulse and found it steady. How did she get here in the first place? Why was she wearing a wedding dress from the future? He turned around to see Amy in the doorway, holding their young son. He smiled, feeling his heart warm in happiness. She looked so content, not like when they had first been trapped here.

But Rory finally had everything he ever wanted: a house, a family, Amy. Except his dad. He missed his dad. And good plumbing. He did the miss the Doctor, and the traveling a bit, but he wasn't one to throw a perfectly good gift out into the dust.

"Got...to find...the Doc-tor..." the woman muttered, shifting her head to the side. Rory spun around to look at his wife.

"Did she just say what I thought she did?" Amy didn't reply, only stood closer to watch. Rory pulled out his bottle of smelling salts. "Should be okay to bring her out now." He waved the bottle under her nose and she began to stir.

"John...John!" She shouted suddenly, leaping forwards.

"Woah!" Rory cried, forcing her to lay back down. "Slow down, what's the last thing you remember?" The woman looked confused for a minute.

"I...I was with my husband...no, fiance."

"John?"

"Yes. John Noble." She looked down at her dress. "I was getting married today." Her eyes began to fill with tears as she remembered leaning up to kiss him just before she transported. Suddenly her head snapped up. "Where am I?" She looked at Rory, realising she was in a stranger's house. "Who are you?" Someone in her head with a voice sounding suspiciously like her fiance said that she was the one being rude this time.

"You're in New York City. I'm Rory Williams, and that's my wife Amy, with our son Tony."

"Tony," Rose whispered, her heart aching.

"Rory, ask her," Amy nudged him with her leg.

"Not yet," Rory waved her away.

"Why? Ask me what?"

"Well, well, you were muttering in your sleep, you asked about a doctor..."

"No, the Doctor. He's a friend of mine, a Time Lord, I need to find him, he's the only one who can help me now." She frowned, seeing the surprised looks on the couples faces. "Why, have you seen him?"

"No, not for a while, but, we used to travel with him." At this Rose sat up again.

"You know of the Doctor! You have to tell me where he is! ...wait..." she looked around, mainly at the room they were in, and the clothes the Williamses were wearing. "What year is this?"

* * *

"So, you used to travel with the Doctor, the same one I used to travel with, before you got trapped here in New York in 1938. Am I correct?" Amy nodded from across the dining table. Rory came over and handed them each a mug of tea, which Rose drank gratefully. Rose put her head in her hands. "So basically, the Doctor's anywhere but here." She laughed a little to ease the tension. "Wondered why you had British accents when you said we were in America. He prefers us I suppose." The married couple smiled at her. Rose noticed the redhead, Amy her name was, seemed a bit more sad than the man Rory.

"So what's your story? Rory asked, coming back to the table with a mug of his own tea. Rose then began to relate how she had travelled with the Doctor, before being trapped in another universe, her journey to find him again, the creation of his clone and how he had left them again.

"Wow," Amy muttered after Rose had finished. "I would be downright pissed if I was you."

"But you'd have a copy of the Doctor so you wouldn't mind it that much." Rory muttered bitterly.

"Rory," Amy implored.

"I know, I know, I'll take care of the baby." He left the room. Rose looked at Amy quizzically. Amy began to blush.

"Oh I sort of had this small...uh thing for the Doctor. Just a little crush, Rory never got over it, no matter how many times I tell him I love him, and him only."

"I know how you feel." Rose replied. "It's hard not to, isn't it? I had a boyfriend before I met the Doctor. Just up and left him without a second thought." She looked over at Amy. "He never really forgave me for it. Just be thankful Rory is different." Amy looked around to make sure Rory wasn't coming back, then she leaned over and whispered to Rose.

"I left the night before my wedding."

"What?!" Rose spluttered her tea and began coughing. Rory was immediately back in the room, wondering if she was choking. "I'm fine, I'm fine," she waved him off, still coughing. Amy sat there, looking innocent as ever as Rory handed Anthony over to her. The four month-old gurgled happily at the sight of his mother. "You said his name was Tony, yeah? That's the name of my little half-brother." She half smiled. Talking about someone else seemed to ease her pain for the moment. "Is he your first?"

"Anthony's adopted but, no, not really. We had a daughter but...well she's gone now." Amy got up and walked away, clearly distressed. Rose dropped the subject, seeing how painful it was for both of them.

"So, if you were in the other universe, how did you get here, and in this time period?" Rose obliged and filled them in on what had been happening to her over the past year.

"And, hopefully, any second I'll be transported back." She rubbed her head, feeling a headache coming on. "Then I can finish getting married." Rory, in his typical way, finally noticed how unwell she looked.

"This can't be good for you though, speaking as a nurse. You were unconscious when Amy found you."

"Well what am I supposed to do about it?" She snapped back. "I don't want to be here. I don't even want to see the Doctor, I just want to go home and get married to my fiance." Rory nodded, understanding while Amy looked a bit shocked. No matter how much she loved Rory, she'd give almost anything to see the Doctor again, except her family. She guessed this was an entirely different situation.

Amy noticed Rory had gotten up during her musings and grabbed a pencil and paper. On the bright-side, she thought, he did look rather dashing in his period-fitting forties suit and vest. She knew from experience that he could pull off any time period's clothing. Rory continued to scribble on the piece of paper before handing it to Rose.

"You said John is a clone of the Doctor? Then he should know some rudimentary medical techniques to perform, if he knows what he's looking for. Here's some tips to help him find out how to help your problems, maybe get rid of some of that pain." He handed the paper to Rose.

"Thanks Rory." She smiled genuinely for the first time since her transport. "It means a lot, considering you most likely will never see me again."

"I'm a nurse. It's in my gut to help those in pain. I'd give you something now for your headache but it hasn't been invented yet." He looked away in embarassment as she stuffed the piece of paper in the front of her dress. Though he should be used to things like that from his wife by now.

"Rose, do you want some of my clothes to wear?" Amy interjected. "That can't be comfortable, love the style by the way, haven't seen a mermaid dress in years." Rose patted down the elaborate sequined front with the low cut top, wishing her mother hadn't picked something so uncomfortable.

"Thank you but no, I need to be wearing this when...if I go back," she hadn't stopped to consider she might be stuck here, in a place where the Doctor could never go without ripping the universe apart. Talk about a worst case scenario. "Besides, you're being polite, I don't think your clothes would fit me anyway." Rose felt a bit subconscious bringing it up (John would have her hide for even thinking like this) but Amy was a tall skinny rail compared to her...shorter and _curvier_ state. Amy made a noise of disbelief while Rory sat there looking uncomfortable. A league of romans couldn't make him say anything in relation to this subject, not if he valued his life.

Suddenly Rose felt it, and her heart leaped in joy. She quickly got up and stumbled towards Rory in an attempt to shake his hand.

"Thank...you," she managed to grit through her teeth before the screams were ripped out of her mouth and she disappeared in a flash of gold light.

* * *

When Rose awoke from her dreams of oceans, golden light and red hair, her befuddled mind processed the weirdest sensation, as if her face was stuffed up against the best smelling pillow she had ever put her head on.

"Mm, don't let me go," she muttered to the amazing-smelling pillow, her mind still a bit delirious.

"I don't plan on it," a familiar sounding voice said. Suddenly Rose's mind snapped back into place.

"John!" She cried, reciprocating his hug. Why hadn't she ever noticed he smelled this good before? And then it hit her. He smelled like the Doctor, and it was familiar to her. A good familiar, like space dust, Time Lord and another thing she could never put a name to. "How long was I out for this time?" She frowned as John walked away to get her a glass of water. Why could she still smell the Doctor this strongly? She shook her head and noticed she was in her room, out of the wedding dress and in her pyjamas. She took in a breath and let it out sharply. Why did her chest hurt?

"A week." John said simply as he brought the glass over to her. He sat on the edge of her bed with a grave look on his face. "You were gone for two weeks." Rose put a hand to her mouth to cover a gasp.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Don't be. It's not your fault. Besides, it gave me a chance to build this," he pulled out of his pocket what looked like his old sonic screwdriver, except with bits and pieces glued on to it to replace the things he didn't have. Rose smiled at seeing it. "With this screwdriver it'll be much faster to find what's going on. I'll take you to Torchwood's medical lab tomorrow, we need to find out how to cure you of whatever's happening. Your heart was stopped when I found you." Rose thought about him giving CPR to her; that explained why her chest hurt. John noticed. "Sorry, I went a little overboard trying to get your heart to work again, I bruised a few of your ribs."

"It's okay." Rose replied. She remembered what had happened after she transported. "Where's that piece of paper I put in my dress?"

"It's right here." John pulled it out of a drawer. "Where did you get this anyway, I read it and it's very helpful."

"A nurse named Rory." She didn't feel like going into all the details now, she'd tell him later. She grinned, her tongue poking out of her teeth. "You pulled it out of the front of my dress?" John just grinned right back.

"Nothing I haven't seen before." They both chuckled.

"What about the wedding?"

"What about it?"

"Don't you still want to get married?"

"Of course I do." John ran a hand through his hair, an action Rose particularly liked. "But don't you think it's more important to solve whatever's going on with you first?"

"But I want to be married to you, right now." She said, a bit petulantly. John gazed at her for a few seconds to determine if she was serious. Finally he nodded.

"Okay" he replied simply. Realising it, he grinned. "Let's get married today."

* * *

Their wedding was a small affair, just like they had planned. Their wrists were tied with a red ribbon and they recited their Gallifreyan vows. Rose stumbled on a few of the words but John was able to help her through it.

* * *

That night they faced each other as husband and wife for the first time.

"So, Rose Tyler-Noble." He stated simply. Rose laughed.

"If only Donna knew I had her name now." John's look turned sullen and Rose remembered too late what he had told her about Donna. "I'm sorry, I forgot."

"I forgive you. And I'm sure she'd be proud to call you her sister-in law. And it's way better than Noble-Tyler." For John could see Donna as his flesh and blood sister and nothing else, just like he would be the Doctor's brother. Born out of Donna's mind and the Doctor's flesh. In fact they could be his parents - he shuddered out of that horrible thought immediately.

But all those thoughts soon were forgotten as Rose's wedding dress slipped to the floor. He eyed her hungrily before diving in.

* * *

"Sorry we can't go on a honeymoon," John whispered as she lay in his arms. She leaned over and nuzzled in his shoulder. He grunted gratefully at the rush of love he felt for his new wife.

"It's okay. The important part is we're married now. We can always take one after you fix me."

They never got to go on their honeymoon.

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

The Doctor ran a hand over his face in frustration. He had been looking for Clara Oswin Oswald for months now. Just the thought of looking for her in another random place made his head hurt. Maybe that oddly-familiar little girl was right, he'd find her soon.

But there was one problem. He seriously thought he was going crazy. Maybe over the loss of his beautiful Amy and loyal Rory, or the fact that he hardly ever saw River anymore, but it was most likely due to all this intense searching for someone who didn't seem to exist. Not even Sir Arthur Conan Doyle had any clue where she could be, and he was supposed to be the expert, no matter how much the man hated it.

And why did he think he was crazy? It had only happened once or twice, but he'd bet his bow tie that, sometimes when he turned around, he'd catch a glimpse of someone he hadn't seen in lifetimes: Rose Tyler. _Rose Tyler. _And why should he see her of all people if he was indeed going crazy? Sure, he had never, ever loved anyone like he did Rose, but his time with her was done, and the last time he had seen her was so long ago...too many years to count.

But that didn't mean he never thought of her. Even before he started imagining her, he'd forget for a second, say or do something with the intention to make her laugh, only to realise she was no longer her with him, that he had left her on some useless beach with the excuse that she had to take care of his clone, as if he really needed looking after.

It was really his fear that caused him to make a stupid decision like that, fear of the unknown, fear of love, and most importantly, the fear of what he sensed in her, that raw untapped power that would only lay dormant as long as nobody messed with it. And as long as she was around him...he'd end up doing something even more stupid, just to satisfy his morbid curiosity, just like when he had nearly ruined Amy's life when not informing her she was a flesh copy right when he suspected it.

He'd poke and prod at whatever was inside Rose, without her even noticing, before it would all spring open, most likely killing her, if it didn't destroy the universe along with her. No, it was better that she was with his clone. They could be happy, and most importantly, the Metacrisis didn't have enough Time Lord in him to sense what lay dormant in Rose, that intoxicating smell that made his insides burn just thinking about it. But she'd be okay, of that he could bet on.

He seemed to forget that he was always a terrible better.

* * *

"Can we go home yet?" Rose had been strapped to an examining table all day while John tried to figure out what was going on in her body. She shuddered to think how long it might have taken him without Torchwood's advanced technology and his new homemade screwdriver, though it still had a few bugs to work out, as he had complained about numerous times in the past hour.

"Soon Rose. I'm nearly there, just one more test to get down deep into your cells, find out what's causing you to jump." Rose sighed and laid her head back down as a blue light ran over her body. Suddenly John gasped, his screwdriver clattering as it hit the floor. Her stomach clenched fearfully.

"John?" She was almost afraid to ask, judging by his reaction. He didn't say a word, only helped her off the examining table. After she was standing, she grabbed him by the shoulders. "John, what's inside me?" He looked her in the eyes, a shocked yet grave look on his face. Suddenly Rose crumbled. "No, not now," she gasped. John stepped back in horror as, for the first time, she began to glow. Instead of a scream, an unearthly-like howl issued from her lips. John stumbled backwards as a silhouette of a wolf in golden light howled behind her.

"Bad Wolf," he gasped. Then she was gone.

* * *

Rose was surprised. Not only had that trip not knocked her out, she was also standing up, clearly with no side affects. Plus, she seemed to be standing in a strange new console room of the TARDIS. It was different than the last time she had seen this room. Instead of an orange glow, it was blue and the room was much smaller than before.

But what made her heart nearly stop was the sight of a man in a dark brown jacket and a bow tie, with brown hair and eyes that held a sort of desperation she'd never seen before. Those eyes that were looking right at her. Strangely, he didn't seem surprised. He only gazed at her for a minute, as if appreciating her presence but not really believing it. Rose was too shocked to say anything. Finally, he nodded approvingly.

"You look older. Not in a bad way, just, a normal way." He turned away and started flicking switches on the TARDIS. "Funny how the imagination does that." Rose started at that. _He thinks I'm a figment of his imagination? _She was about to tell him he was wrong but then stopped. It was most likely she'd be going back to her universe soon, so she should take advantage of this. If he thought she wasn't real, he might tell her things he never would if he knew she was really here.

"Why'd you leave me Doctor?" She put a little airy mysteriousness in her voice to heighten the effect. He didn't turn around to look at her, just continued to fly the TARDIS.

"You already know. You're part of my head, something my weary mind has conjured to get my mind off of Clara." _Clara? The Doctor's next lover? _She swallowed that question down.

"Why'd you leave me?" She repeated instead. At this the Doctor turned and looked at her straight in the eye. He whispered something too quietly for her to understand.

"What?" She said before she could stop herself.

"I'm afraid." He said, a bit louder.

"Of me?" He nodded. "Why?"

"Because, I don't know what you are. You're not human, not anymore. And I don't want to hurt you trying to find out what it is you are." Rose clenched her fists angrily. _He knew!_ He knew there was something wrong with her and he just dropped her off in the other universe for John to take care of. He hid it from her, praying on the small chance that she wouldn't be affected by it. Before she knew what she was doing, she strode up to the Doctor and brought her palm across his cheek.

**SMACK! **He reeled back in shock. After recovering, he rubbed the area ruefully.

"I guess I deserved that."

"Ya think?"

"Mm, it even feels real." Rose cocked her head incredulously.

"You really don't think I'm real, do you?" The Doctor's head snapped up in slight suspicion. But then he turned away in hopelessness.

"How can you be?" The air was thick and awkward for a few moments. The Doctor continued to fly the TARDIS, willing himself not to look at her. She still looked as beautiful as ever, and it hurt him to the core to realise he'd never see the real Rose Tyler again, no matter how much he wanted to. He just wanted not to see her again so he could get on with his life. Little did he know Rose was thinking the same thing.

"You left me there on purpose."

"I know!" He shouted, slamming his hands on the console. Rose jumped in fright. He looked at her, his eyes growing soft apologetically. He came up to her and kissed her forehead. "I wish I could tell her I'm sorry." He whispered. His eyes flicked down to see the wedding ring on her finger. Yes, he supposed they would be married by now.

Rose smiled at him sympathetically, subconsciously moving her ring finger out of his sight. She was still mad at him, but not as intensely as before.

"I'm sure she knows." She kissed him on the side of the cheek, lingering for longer than necessary. The Doctor closed his eyes, disappointed that even in his imagination she never said she forgave him. He wished with both his hearts that this was actually real and he could make up for all the things he ever did to her.

But when he opened his eyes she was gone. He shook his head, cursing the torture his mind was putting him through.

* * *

**If you haven't seen it yet, I recommend watching the unfilmed deleted scene P.S. set after Angels Take Manhattan. You can find it on YouTube. It closes Amy and Rory's story nicely (and with Rory's dad).**


	3. Tears in the Dark

Chapter 3: Tears in the Dark

**Serious angst warning in this chapter!**

_"Walking past the city lights. Silence can be so disturbing. You'll find me standing in the night. The stars never seemed so unending. So unending..."_

* * *

Although Rose's last transport seemed to cause no pain, those in the other universe wouldn't have guessed so. As soon as she appeared at John's feet, he feared the worst, as she was completely still and her heart had stopped again. For a few harrowing moments, he thought he had lost her forever. But then she gasped into wakefulness, her heart starting back up. As soon as he was sure she was alright, he pulled her to her feet.

"This has to stop Rose. If it happens again I don't think you'll be able to make it." He guided her down the halls and up the floors of the Torchwood facility.

"But John, I saw him, I talked to the Doctor! He knew there was something wrong with me!"

"Yes and I know what it is, I've had a month to prepare because of what I found in your cells. All the pieces fell into place." They entered a tiny room on the top floor. Inside there were two chairs with straps and mechanical bits on them with a strange-looking machine between them. As soon as they were inside John turned on his communicator and told Pete to find Jackie and Tony and meet them up here. After he was done he grabbed Rose by the shoulders. She was frightened by his intensity.

"Now listen to me Rose because I'm only going to get the chance to say this once. I found Huon particles in your cells. Huon particles are what's inside the TARDIS. When you looked into the heart you absorbed part of her. It's taken years but, probably due to all the dimension jumping you did before I was created, those Huon particles activated. They're bonded to the TARDIS and in doing so have bonded you to the TARDIS as well. Your body's been trying to get back to the TARDIS, but the particles are scrambled, that's why sometimes you miss and land in random places and times. During the month you were gone, I was able to figure out how to align those cells."

"How?" His answer was interrupted as Pete and Jackie carrying Tony burst in. Jackie was in tears as she embraced her daughter desperately.

"John told me everything he has to do, and I agree it's the only way to save your life, but I'm going to miss you like hell sweetheart."

"Why, am I leaving?" No one would answer her and Rose had a bad feeling that grew with each passing second. She could barely think straight as she hugged her mother and stepfather and kissed Tony on the forehead, her mind barely registering that this was goodbye, for possibly forever. Her wonderful, brilliant family and she was never going to see them again.

And finally Rose and John stood in front of each other. Without hesitating they threw their lips against each other and kissed for all they were worth.

"I can't do this," Rose gasped, tears streaming down her face as they pulled away. John's eyes were beginning to fill with tears as well.

"I'm sorry Rose," he said. "But that's not all." Before she could realise what was happening, John dragged her over to one of the chairs and restrained her before inserting wires in her skin.

"Why are you doing this?" Rose cried. "I know I have to go, you don't have to restrain me!"

"Because you don't understand," he replied. "The only way I can get the Huon particles in you to realign is to give you the few I have. If I was a full Time Lord I wouldn't have to give you all of mine, just some. It's what keeps us bonded to the TARDISes we own. It will allow you control over your traveling, just like the TARDIS. You have to find the Doctor, it will only last for a certain amount of time."

"But why am I strapped down?" John didn't reply and Rose suddenly realised what he was talking about. "No. _No!_" She began screaming hysterically and pulling on her restraints. "No! You can't give your life for me, I won't let you!" Jackie began sobbing.

"Pete, get her out of here!" John snapped. Pete led his wife out and the door shut behind them. "Rose, listen to me! The only way to stop this from happening is to get you to the Doctor. And the only way to do that is for you to have control over where you go. Any way we do it you'll have to leave me. And I'm nothing without you, honestly and truly. Without you I have absolutely nothing at all. Please, please let me do this." Tears ran freely from his eyes now. "Let me save you for once."

"Come with me." she gasped.

"You know I can't. Because you did what the Doctor asked: you made me better. So no matter where you go or what you do, know I'll always love you. And I know he loves you too. He may need more convincing than I did but I know you'll work it out." He fingered the ring on her finger.

"John," she knew saying this would break his heart, but he had to know. "You know that night, after we had that skirmish with the weevils and you had that nasty gash on your leg?" John nodded. "I was going to ask you if you would want to try to have a baby." She wasn't pregnant, of that she was sure, but he had to know she would have wanted kids with him. At this John said nothing. He merely put his head against the back of his hand and let out a few heart-wrenching sobs. Quickly he wiped the tears away and regained his breath.

"There is nothing I want more than to start a family with you Rose. You would have made a fantastic mother."

"You would have been the best father." Rose could barely stop the sobs that escaped her mouth. "I love you John. _So much_."

"Quite right. Rose Tyler, I love you too." He kissed her one last time on the lips and strapped himself up. "Goodbye my love." Suddenly the machine was activated and Rose screamed for the agony that was in her heart as her world disappeared in a flash of gold light.

When it faded she was in the other universe, in an empty field. She collapsed in the grass and cried for all she was worth, nothing being able to relieve the all-encompassing grief in her heart.

* * *

Much, much later, Rose lifted her eyes as a particularly bright ray of sunshine shone down on her. She wanted to curse everything beautiful, as if somehow it could bring John back. "John," she gasped. "You stupid, selfish excuse for a Time Lord! Why did you have to sacrifice yourself for me?" She began crying again, but soon realised that nothing she could do would bring him back.

But yet she couldn't do what he said right now. There was no way she could face the Doctor in this frame of mind. She'd either kill him or end up getting herself killed. Although John said her powers wouldn't last forever, they'd last at least for a little while. She'd travel around a bit, maybe help a few people, then, when she was ready, she'd face the Doctor.

Hopefully he'd be ready to face her as well.

* * *

_"Well, I guess the first thing I should do is to make sure I can really do this...how _do _I do this?" _She kicked a rock away with her foot, trying to get John's bright brown eyes out of her mind. _"I guess I should just try to travel in time first before I try to move." _She closed her eyes and imagined the field she was in but fifty years earlier.

She felt someone bump into her and she was shocked to see people and buildings around her instead of the empty field she had been in before. Okay, now to try just moving in space. She closed her eyes, and when she opened them, she found herself on the native planet of Kitariah 3. The Doctor had taken her here back when he was wearing a leather jacket and a Northern accent to see the fox-like inhabitants. She smiled, albeit a bit bittersweet.

"Thanks John," she whispered, before heading off.

* * *

A few weeks later Rose gathered up the courage to jump to a place she'd wanted to go for a long time. Home.

Or, more specifically, her old home before she met the Doctor. The place she could come to, hug her mother, lay under the pink covers of her bed, hear the passing busses in the morning and the kids as they would play football in the alley...the Powell Estates.

When Rose appeared there she shouldn't have been surprised that it looked just the same as before. As if nothing had happened. She walked past the area where the Doctor preferred to park the TARDIS and up the stairs she had chased that same Time Lord down demanding answers so many years ago. She reached the level her old flat was on and strode to the door, ready to knock.

Her wrist was just about to rap when she stopped. This moment needed her to slow down. She turned around and rested her back against the window that looked inside, the curtains drawn shut. She thought about her childhood days, her mother bringing her oatmeal in the mornings before school, learning with her tutor Mr. Smith with the funny bow tie, those afternoons playing with Mickey on the playground...her tutor...Mr. Smith...bow tie... Rose only shook her head as she realised. _Sentimental old fool._

Her musings were interrupted as the door behind her opened.

"Hello, can I help you?" A woman looking to be in her thirties looked out at her.

"Oh! Sorry no, just...reliving old memories." She looked behind the woman, wanting to catch a glimpse of the place she grew up in. What she saw instead was a young girl about five sitting at the table, coloring. Rose smiled. That used to be her, so long ago it felt like just a dream now. "I'll be on my way." She walked away, brushing away a stray tear. She didn't stop to think until she reached the playground she and Mickey used to play at, so long ago.

_"Why do you always stare at the sky?"_ Mickey would ask her.

_"Because, I know there's something out there, and I'm going to find it someday."_

_"There's no such things as aliens, Rose."_

_"You don't know that! And besides, I don't want to just see aliens."_

_"Then what do you want to see?"_

_"I...I want to see everything."_

Rose snapped out of her reverie harshly. She had gotten what she wanted, hadn't she? And look where it got her now. She almost wished she had never met the Doctor. Almost. The pain in her heart was so intense over John she didn't think she'd make it.

She sat down on a bench and let herself cry one last time. She cried over everything. Her first northern Doctor, losing her Doctor twice, seeing her dad die in her arms, losing John and her family, and being stuck here with this intense hatred for what the Doctor had turned her life into.

"Rose, please, stop crying," said a familiar voice, one Rose never thought she'd hear again. Her head snapped up.

"John!" She cried, rushing forward.

"Rose, you can't." She skidded to a stop right in front of him. With those words another memory flashed in front of her.

_"Can I t-..."_

_"I'm still just an image. No touch." _Rose's eyes widened.

"No!" She cried, her world slowly crumbling. He had done this to her again! At Bad Wolf Bay the first time it was hell enough not being able to hug him goodbye, but now...this just wasn't fair. She crumpled to the ground and put her head in her hands, sobbing. "Don't do this to me John, just leave me alone!"

"Please Rose, stop, I can't take this anymore, seeing you like this!" Rose turned to look at him and saw he was also crying.

"Well, what else am I supposed to do? You're clearly dead, so either you're just a figment of my imagination created to torture me even more, or you lied to me."

"It's neither. The Huon particles in my body activated accidentally just before I gave them to you." He gave a watery chuckle. "I guess you could call me the Bad Wolf now." Rose looked deep into his eyes and saw they were indeed glowing, although with much less intensity than hers had when she had absorbed the vortex.

"How much time do we have?" She dared to ask as she stood back up. He sighed.

"Oh Rose, you're going to hate me for this. I only have enough strength to keep me here for about two minutes."

"That's not funny."

"I know. You're not the only one who's worst memory is that day." They were both quiet for a few seconds. "So," John began, "how long has it been, what have you been up to?"

"A few weeks. And just random things. Saved a planet from the rule of a tyrant, stopped the flooding of another, oh and I saved David Copperfield's life. The magician, not the Dickens character. Go figure." John seemed impressed.

"So, you haven't found the Doctor yet?"

"I'm not looking for him. I mean, how can I? He's not you." Oh the irony.

"Funny, you said that once about me."

"He never loved me back. At least, he never said it. He never had the guts to say it, even once. If he can just let me go, then I can too." John clearly heard the underlying bitterness in her voice.

"You don't mean that Rose. You have to find him sooner or later, your powers won't last forever."

"I know. I'm just afraid it'll break me." They faced each other, a thousand different thoughts running through their heads but nothing really worthy to say. Finally, Rose couldn't stand it anymore. Damn the consequences.

She came up and put her lips against his, fully expecting to pass right through him, just as it would have happened before. Amazingly, she did not pass through him, instead their lips connected and John threw his arms around her to reciprocate. They dug desperately at each other, Rose with her hands behind his neck, John with his arms around her waist. His tongue explored her mouth as it never had before. Their passion burned like fire, knowing that what they were experiencing shouldn't have been possible.

They were so entranced in each other that they were oblivious to the golden light rising up around them, through them, over them, covering them, in and out. The Bad Wolf was shared equally between their eyes as they kissed. Time around them actually slowed to a stop.

After what felt like hours but was in reality only a few minutes, they slowly released each other. Rose was startled to find John was halfway gone.

"Find him." He whispered as he faded into gold dust.

When Rose turned around her eyes were dry. No matter what John wanted her to do, she knew she wasn't ready. Seeing the Doctor now would cause her to do something stupid. She hated him so much she could barely see straight. He could have prevented everything her life had become.

She was also tired. So tired of the pain. She made a promise to herself. No more tears. No more heartache. As she determined this, her eyes began to glow until they were shining as bright as when she had been the Bad Wolf. Something wrong had become of her, and she was unaware that doing so had caused her heart to start darkening.

* * *

Her next jump was a trial run of what she called a "random setting". In fact, if you asked her, she would agree that she was starting to feel a bit like the TARDIS. She could see a lot of time and space, especially the one she was planning on jumping to. Mind you, not all of it, since her powers weren't "that" strong.

She could also change her outfit with a single thought, and, the part that Rose thought John would find hilarious, she started getting her tenses mixed up. She would say "will" instead of "did" and vice versa, among other things. Traveling through time did that to a...person using their own body as the capsule. Not that she knew anybody else like her. She also knew instinctively that she'd always know who the Doctor was, no matter what he looked like.

So, after her randomized jump, Rose found herself on an ice planet. She would have shivered if her body heat hadn't been regulated, another bonus. But still, the locals might think it odd to see her dressed in a tank top and jeans so, with one thought, a big, thick blue...no now black jacket appeared around her. She snuggled inside the thick coat, feeling the temperature of her body cool as it adapted for the jacket. Rose smiled. Time to see why she brought herself here.

* * *

As Rose walked into a town she had spotted from a low cliff earlier that day, she immediately halted. A great big banner made out of computerized lights blew authentically in the wind. Earthlings and their nostalgia.

But that wasn't what freaked Rose out. The fact that it said _The 6530th Annual Intergalactic Olympic Games_ made her heart race, her mind flashing back to a time when she was carefree and unburdened by the intense grief that refused to release its grip on her. That was one of the last trips _he _had taken her on before her life went to hell.

_"They keep trying to split us up but they never ever will."_

_"Never say never ever."_

_"You and me though, we'll always be okay, right?"_

_"Something's coming. Something big."_

That bastard. Scared the hell out of her at that moment. Not just by what he had said, but the fact that he didn't agree with her that they'd always be together. Not that it mattered now, but it still was a mean thing to do.

She knew she was treading on dangerous ground. If she kept thinking like this, her new powers might cause her do to something really stupid. Hell, if she even thought Reinette's name she might go back in time and kill the bitch herself. She sure had enough reason to.

Stop. Breathe. She shook the negative feelings off. It would do her no good, besides, she was sure there wasn't anything here that could still be called authentic according to the standards of her own time period. Well, the one she will be born in anyway. No, was born in. _Damn._

* * *

Rose found herself standing just outside the entrance to the zero-gravity ice skating rink. She debated going inside or seeing what was around the corner, she could hear voices and figured it was probably a sellers' corner or a carnival or something. Her second guess had been correct.

A sort of carnival with game booths and everything of the sort had been set up along the whole left side of the wall of the building the zero-gravity skating games were held. Rose held back a smile of amusement, seeing that many of the games were vintage in that she'd see most of them in a park in her time.

"Miss?" A spotted alien with a flat nose called out to her. "Would you like to try?" He held out a green baseball. Up against the back of his booth were a stack of bottles that she had to try to knock over. She really had to give them credit for how close this was to the real thing.

"Sure," she replied. "What the hell." She threw the ball towards the stack of bottles without pausing to aim. **CRASH!** She smiled triumphantly as they all fell over. She looked at the man running the booth who had a shocked look on his face. "What?" She asked, a bit rudely.

He just looked down to where the ball still sat in his hands. Rose realised her mistake. She hadn't waited to grab the ball from him and instead used...her mind she supposed, to knock them over. "Oh! Sorry." She laid a credit stick on the counter that John had given her and waited as the alien processed it, still with a stunned expression on his face. He handed her her prize, ironically, a stuffed wolf and she walked away, a bit sheepishly. She really had to be more careful.

As she was walking, toy in hand, she heard a child crying. She looked around and quickly spotting the tiny, orange skinned child sitting on a bench. It was easy to see what she had been crying about, the three year old looked down at her stuffed...whatever kind of animal it was, some cross between an octopus and a dog, had had its head ripped off, probably by some other kid. Where the hell were her parents, anyway? Rose walked up and sat beside the little girl.

"Hey," she said to get her attention. The girl snapped her head up, clearly skittish. "My name's Rose. Do you know what this is?" She held her stuffed toy out to the girl. She shook her head. "It's a wolf, from the planet Earth. Ever heard of Earth?" She girl nodded. Not a very talkative one. "Well," Rose continued. "A wolf means that you'll always be protected, someone who will give you courage of heart to stand up to anyone who's treating you badly." Like that bully that tore the head off her other doll.

The girl immediately reached out for the wolf, her eyes asking Rose if she could have it. "Yes, you can have it." The girl smiled and reached up to give Rose a hug around her neck. She was surprised, and her heart seemed to lighten a little. "Alright you," she said, letting go of her, "you go find your parents now. This is too big a place to be alone. Do you know where they are?" The girl nodded and took off. A few feet away the girl turned around.

"Thank you," she said, clutching the wolf tightly to her chest. And then she was gone. Rose smiled, for the first time her heart a little lighter.

"That was very kind of you Rose," she snapped her head up at the sound. She gasped, the light of her heart snapping back to black. Standing in front of her was the Doctor, with another woman on his arm.

* * *

**If you really want to cry your eyes out, go to YouTube and search "Filming Doomsday's Final Scene David Tennant Video Diaries". If I had been alone when I watched it I would have completely lost it. Please review! (only two for this last chapter with over 15 followers? geez guys how am I supposed to know if anybody likes this story so far to give me the motivation to continue?) By the way I have a new poll up on my profile, even if you've only read this story, you can still vote for it :)**


	4. Anger in the Dark

Chapter 4: Anger in the Dark

**Rated T reminder, for a sensual scene (not graphic)**

_ "We painted, whitewashed everything when all that remains are shadows of the stains. Tell me, where did we go wrong? Can we just move on?"_

* * *

"H-how do you know my name?" The Doctor brushed a lock of long brown hair out of his eye.

"Not that hard to figure out my dear, you said it to that little Josnian girl." He spoke with a deep, rich voice.

"I thought Josnians were blue." The Doctor nodded, impressed.

"Yes that's true, but sometimes their kids are orange. She'll grow out of it as she gets older." He smiled at her. "I appreciate people who are compassionate towards children."

"We should be compassionate towards everyone," Rose countered. The tall Time Lord gave a deep chuckle.

"True again. I like you Rose." The girl on his arm suddenly shivered, being clothed in only a seventies style thin striped t-shirt and blue dress pants that matched the blue in her shirt. And Rose was sure it was seventies style; she had just been there two days ago.

"Doctor," she complained. "It's cold." Without a word the Doctor unwound a long, red scarf from around his neck and handed it to his companion, who then proceeded to wrap it numerous times around her own neck. The Doctor adjusted his brown coat as he introduced them, not knowing that Rose already knew who they were.

"Rose, I'm the Doctor, and this is my companion, Sarah Jane Smith." Sarah Jane stuck her hand out and Rose shook the pretty young girl's hand. She held back a smile. Of course, Sarah Jane was still beautiful when Rose had first met her, but it was still interesting to see her when she was young, much younger in fact. No wonder she had such a hard time getting over the Doctor; it was clear how impressionable she still was. Rose figured all his female companions were, including herself. Rose winced, feeling Sarah Jane's future change. She'd fix that later.

"Sarah, can you find where Harry's gone to, make sure he didn't get lost. I'd like to talk to Rose alone." Rose immediately backed away.

"No, no I better be on my way."

"Please?" He held out his hand but Rose refused it.

"Alright, I'll stay, but whatever you need to say, say it fast." The Doctor frowned but didn't reply to that.

"Let's take a walk," he guided her away from the carnival games. "You seem to know me and my companion already." Rose stopped walking.

"Is that what you wanted to talk about? You know as well as I that time travel can cause things like this." The Doctor turned around to look at her.

"You're extremely bitter Rose, and for some unknown reason it's directed at me." His eyebrows furrowed in a frown. "And no, that's not all. I sense an extreme amount of energy radiating off of you, so much it shouldn't be possible." Rose took a step back.

"There are some things you weren't...aren't supposed to know yet, especially about me." She winced as a headache flared. Sarah Jane's future was unraveling because she recognised Rose in the future. "One moment," she thought back to a few minutes ago and changed her hair to black. There, now her bleached-blonde look shouldn't be as recognizable when Sarah Jane met her at that school. The Doctor frowned. He was enough of a time traveller to see her hair vibrate from blonde to a striking black. Not strangely, it seemed to fit her current mood.

"You have powers you shouldn't be messing with." He lowered his voice dangerously. Rose inwardly scoffed at him. He had been the one to do this to her in the first place only, he didn't know it yet. She could get mad at him for something else though.

"Oh, so what, you're going to stop me? Try to govern my life, make my choices for me, like you always have? I don't need you to tell me how to live my life. Now I really should be going. Thank you for your time." She departed and was about to zap away to another time period when she changed her mind. This much younger Doctor wasn't going to ruin her day, she was going to stay here, enjoy the games, and stay out of his way as much as possible. With her head held high she strode into the building housing the ice skating rink.

The Doctor watched her go. What she had said, it was obvious they meet in his future but her past. Maybe she was a future companion.

He was curious about her powers, but even more curious about why her personality was so dark. He had seen how kind she was to that Josnian girl, so why was she so mad at him, especially since he hadn't met her yet?

* * *

Rose quickly found her seat inside the rink and waited for the next tournament to start. She was still fuming over what the Doctor with the long scarf had said to her. He hadn't even met her and he was trying to control her! Just like always! How many times had she been sent away, dropped off or left on her own just because the Doctor thought something else was more important? Even her Northern Doctor had done it a few times.

_"That bloody Time Lord is so big on himself, he thinks he has the correct answer to everything. Pig-headed, selfish ba-..." _her head snapped up as she saw a stretcher being rolled into one of the back hallways. She got up from her seat, her outfit morphing to a nurse's uniform.

* * *

"Let me through, I'm a nurse! The crowd parted as Rose shoved her way through. A woman in a sparkling skater's dress lay on the stretcher. She checked for a heartbeat and found none. The contestant was dead. "What happened?" She asked the skater's manager who was standing by the stretcher, a harrowed look on his face.

"She was just warming up, she was next up you see. Having a bit of trouble with her back step when suddenly she just clutches her heart, before collapsing." Rose frowned. That sounded like a heart attack. She dismissed the stretcher and took a step back, her head taking in all the facts. The first contestant had died suddenly from a heart attack. But she was young and athletic, her heart should have been fine, unless...

"We've got another one down!" Someone shouted and the people around her leapt into action. Rose bit her lip in concentration as she saw the second contestant receiving CPR. She turned around and saw the Doctor standing there with Sarah Jane and who she assumed was the Harry he had mentioned before.

"Someone's killing off the other contestants," he said. Rose frowned.

* * *

"Oh, you're a nurse?" Harry said after being introduced. "I'm a doctor," he shook her hand enthusiastically, overly glad at meeting someone from his own profession who also knew the Doctor. Rose thought he looked nice enough, a bit dull though, to put it nicely.

"Oh, she's not a..." the Doctor started, then probably realised Harry wouldn't understand. "Never mind. Sarah, talk to some of the witnesses, see if you can find anything unusual...and take Harry with you," he added the last part as an afterthought. After his two companions were gone he studied Rose closely. "Since when did you go to nursing school in the past twenty minutes since we've met?" Rose fumed.

"None of your business," she snapped. The Doctor held up his hands in defense.

"I only hope you know what you are doing."

"Of course I did...do, damn it." Getting these tenses wrong was downright annoying. "I know enough to see that these people aren't just dying of poor hearts."

"You suspect murder? Well then, it seems we're after the same thing. Would you care to join up?" Rose debated this. She really didn't want to work with the Doctor, but yet they had to catch the killer before he/she took out too many more contestants.

"Okay," she said, a bit reluctantly.

* * *

With one sweep of the Doctor's psychic paper he was established as the representative of the Shadow Proclamation. One outfit change and Rose was his deputy. Sarah Jane and Harry were on their own as a reporter and a doctor. Rose only grinned knowingly at that.

"Sarah Jane would make a good reporter." She commented to the Doctor she barely knew.

"You know, I think you're right." He turned and smiled at that. Rose smiled back, until she remembered who she was smiling to. It quickly disappeared, and the Doctor turned back to the scene, disappointed. He really liked this Rose, no matter what her problem with him was. She was smart, beautiful, caring, hold on, beautiful? _Where had that come from?_ He shook his head. He knew the dangers of getting involved with humans. Sarah Jane hung a little too close to him already, but there was nothing he could do about that.

"So, how is pretending to be a copper any different than pretending to be a nurse?" Rose asked.

"Because, I know what I'm doing."

"And I don't?"

"I didn't say that."

"But you meant it." He spun around to face her at that.

"Rose, just what is your problem with me? I haven't done anything wrong!" He saw her mouth the word 'yet'.

"You really want to know what my problem is with you? If someone doesn't agree with you, they must be wrong. You think you're the only one who knows exactly what they're doing. News flash, but you're not. I've been doing this for a while, and I don't need to be told how to do this."

"Fine."

"Fine!" They were both quiet for a few moments. Rose began to feel a bit guilty for snapping at him. She opened her mouth but he waved her off.

"Never mind, I'm sure I'll figure you out someday. Let's just solve this one, then we can go on our separate ways. Alright?" Rose nodded.

"How many contestants are left?" She asked, the air still filled with tension.

"Three. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"That one of the contestants is killing off the others to win? Not very bright if the person kills them all, leading us right to them."

"I think the killer may be done. The three who died were at the top of their competition, the other three are around the same skill level." He leaned down close to her ear, ignoring how she flinched as he drew nearer. "Let's go interview them shall we?"

* * *

Forty minutes later the Doctor and Rose stepped out out the interviewing room, thoroughly stunned.

"None of those contestants could hurt a fly, much less kill someone."

"Yes, I'd have to agree with you. Plus, they all have sound alibis"

"Dalia Wenckus, Tory Dubalani, Seri Kila. Which one..." She grinned, remembering Tory's interview. He was quite good-looking, with long brown hair, broad shoulders and chin, and kind eyes. She'd have to find him again later tonight. The Doctor seemed to notice where her thoughts were going and coughed nervously. They both stood up straighter as Sarah Jane ran up, Harry at her heels.

"Doctor, we found something." She stood in front of him, her eyes glancing at Rose, a bit of mistrust lingering in her eyes. Rose wasn't offended, there was a certain air of mysteriousness about her that wasn't safe to trust. She preferred it that way. "One of the people in the audience saw a woman with a heart-reducer device." She grinned at the Doctor, obviously waiting for his approval. The Doctor kissed her forehead in joy. Rose frowned. He obviously was leading the poor girl on. Just like someone who used to kiss her forehead...

"A heart-reducer device! Used for people with overactive hearts, usually due to Orin's disease, common on this side of the galaxy. That would induce a heart attack to a normal beating heart. What did the woman look like?"

"That's the thing, the woman didn't look like Dalia Wenckus or Seri Kila. She was older."

"The mother." Rose muttered.

"What?" The Doctor turned to her.

"Tory's mother. He will...no, did mention how much his mother had given up to get him here. She may be doing more than that."

"Where was Mrs. Dubalani last seen?"

"Over on the West Wing."

"Alright," the Doctor sprang into action. "Sarah, Harry, take the front entrance, Rose and I will take the back, we'll corner her inside."

* * *

The four of them met inside the West Wing, but Ula Dubalani was nowhere in sight.

"She's probably already at the airship leaving the planet in two minutes," Harry said, holding an airship schedule.

"We'll never get there in time!" Sarah Jane cried.

"I'm on it." Both Harry and Sarah Jane gasped as Rose disappeared in a gold flash. The Doctor only stood there with a grave look on his face.

"Doctor, who is that woman?" Sarah Jane demanded.

"I really don't know." But he had this distinct feeling he should get to the airship, and fast.

* * *

Ula smiled as she threw her bag onto the airship. The game makers were so intensely into their games, the three deaths wouldn't stop anything. Now her son could be a star, just like she'd always wanted him to be. The Dubalani name would be known across the universe.

"Stop!" Ula screamed as a woman with black hair in a copper's uniform appeared right in front of her. Rose raised a hand and Ula was thrown on her back. "You killed those people," Rose stated, her eyes growing brighter and brighter until they were shining gold. "All just for fame." Ula was too frightened to even speak, she crawled backwards in fear, but the woman with the golden eyes advanced on her. "You will pay with your life." She raised a hand and Ula screamed as her body began to fade away.

"Rose, stop!" Rose dropped her hand and Ula came back into existence. "Rose, this isn't you!" The Doctor cried, rushing up to her.

"How do you know who I am, you don't know what I've been through, what I've lost!"

"I know you're not a killer. Someone who's that kind to children couldn't kill someone in cold blood. Remember, we should be compassionate to everyone?" Rose sniffed, her eyes filling with tears.

"I miss him so much," she gasped, the pain in her heart growing until it was nearly overwhelming. She cursed herself, saying she wasn't supposed to cry anymore. The Doctor came up to stand in front of her, his young brown eyes searching her face. He didn't know who she was talking about, but it was clear she had loved him.

"Would he want you to kill this woman, no matter what she's done?" He knew he had hit a weak point by the look on her face. She looked at him, heartbroken tears coming down her face. Without a word she disappeared.

The Doctor shook his head ruefully, before hauling Ula Dubalani up and giving her to the authorities that Sarah Jane had brought with her.

He knew he wouldn't be seeing Rose again, at least for a very long time. In the meantime, he would lock away all the memories of meeting her, to keep their time limes right, after telling Harry and Sarah Jane never to mention her again. He knew Sarah Jane wouldn't speak a word, but he wasn't sure if Harry could or not.

* * *

Rose appeared in front of Tory Dubalani's room and knocked. As soon as he opened the door she threw herself on him, kissing him and running her hands through his long hair. Tory was surprised at first, but then responded. It wasn't that often a hot girl kissed him without a word. He also couldn't think straight, his head still reeling that his mother had murdered on his behalf. He had told her over and over again, he wasn't doing this for the fame, but for the immense pleasure it gave him, just as this mysterious woman who had interviewed him earlier was doing now.

She dug hungrily at him, her mind picturing it was John instead of Tory. She missed him so much, she'd do anything to feel him again, even if it wasn't him she was feeling. As long as she was pretending, he'd always be with her. Tory pulled her inside his dressing room and Rose followed willingly. Tory slammed his body against her's and the door rattled with their weight.

"John," she gasped as Tory bit at a particular weak spot on her neck, one that John preferred as well. Tory frowned as she spoke someone else's name, but didn't stop.

She got her fill of him for a few minutes then let go of him. She frowned, seeing Tory's starstruck face instead of John's. She disappeared and Tory blinked twice, wondering if he had imagined the whole thing.

* * *

Sometime after that, Rose had been feeling a lot better. If she hadn't met that younger Doctor, she wouldn't have had to do that in the first place. She zapped to a house in Ealing and swayed for a second. She frowned. Why was she feeling so weak? She shook her head and her energy came back. Oh well, she probably just hit some sort of energy spike. She knocked on the door and couldn't hold back a grin, knowing what would happen when the door opened. Sarah Jane opened the door and saw Rose standing there, her hair jet black.

"Rose, how nice to...wait...oh! That was you!" Memories of that day, so long ago filled her head. The woman the Doctor had said never to mention to him again. The woman with the strange golden powers.

"Guilty as charged Sarah Jane." She smiled as Sarah Jane let her inside.

* * *

The first thing she asked Sarah Jane was no questions about the Doctor. She only replied with "We all knew you were going to get that clone of the Doctor's."

"John," Rose corrected.

"John. The Doctor always leaves those he cares about, Rose. It's a sort of self-defence mechanism." She laid a hand on Rose's sympathetically and Rose didn't reply, only tried to give her a grateful smile, which wasn't very believable.

"So, what have you been up to?" Rose asked, trying to get off the subject of the Doctor. She had already met Luke, her son, a few minutes ago.

"Oh, not much, I've got a group of kids helping me, we kind of...take care of the aliens that Torchwood misses."

"Torchwood! How is Jack doing, do you talk to him at all?"

"Not very often, but I know he misses you. He'd be overjoyed to see you, after what's happened to him."

"Why, what happened?" Sarah Jane told her about the children of Earth speaking in unison, and Jack losing Ianto. Rose dug her fingers into the arm of her chair.

"Just another broken heart that the Doctor could have prevented."

"Rose," Sarah Jane implored.

"Sorry, sorry, it's just, I will have a lot to be mad at him about." Sarah Jane looked at her quizzically. "No, wait, I already do. Time travelling, messes with your head." Sarah Jane bit back her questions and instead continued.

"I know you do, have a lot to be mad about that is, but you can't let this control your life. Sooner or later you're going to have to let him explain his side of the story." Rose put her head in her hands.

"I know. I just need a little bit more time." She looked into the eyes of one of her dearest friends, knowing that if the Doctor would have said those exact same words she would have snapped at him and stormed off. Maybe she was being a bit to harsh on him. Not that she would forgive him, at least not for a very long time.

"So, tell me about some of the places you've gone to." Rose smiled. That subject was a much better thing for her to talk about. Sarah Jane still had a few questions, but she had the feeling she wouldn't get the answers to them anytime soon.

* * *

About an hour later Rose stood up. "I really shouldn't take much more of your time," she looked at Sarah Jane closely and saw her sigh. "Are you okay?"

"No, I'm not. I'm dying."

"What?!" Rose cried, wanting to believe she had heard wrong. "No, you can't."

"It's cancer. I've got a few months left, I'm not going to cry about it, so you shouldn't either."

"No, but, I can help you," she raised a hand and gold light began to seep out around it.

"No Rose, stop!" Sarah Jane remembered seeing this new Rose disappear in a flash of gold light right in front of her on that ice planet, so many years ago. "Not like this." Rose looked genuinely confused. A flick of her hand and the gold snapped back into her.

"Why not? If I can save your life, why not let me?"

"Because, if it's my time to go, I'm not going to fight it."

"But Luke, all your friends, the Doctor..."

"Luke is going off to college, he doesn't need me anymore."

"That's not true."

"Please, let me finish. I said a proper goodbye to the Doctor a few months ago. He doesn't know it but I do. My time is done."

"He deserves to know. I'm sure he would want to see you one last time."

"No. He's regenerated, he has a new life, new companions. He needs to let me go."

"Hold on, he's regenerated, again?"

"You didn't know? He has brown hair, a large chin and nose, runs around like a three-year old who just learned to walk."

"Yes, I know who you're talking about." That was the Doctor she had been seeing when she first started jumping.

"Rose, do you see my wisdom? That life needs to move on, as it's supposed to?" After a few moments, Rose nodded.

"I'll come and see you before..."

"No, don't. I want you to remember me now, when I still look fine." Now Rose definitely saw the wisdom in that. Rose hugged Sarah Jane desperately. Just another person dear to her she was never going to see again. "Goodbye Rose Tyler."

"Goodbye Sarah Jane Smith. You've been a good friend. I wish you well."

"Thank you, and you too." Rose left and wiped a tear from her eye, seriously debating whether or not her life was cursed. She remembered what Sarah Jane had said about Jack and transported over to Torchwood 3.

* * *

As soon as Rose appeared she was enveloped in a giant bear hug. Jack clung to her desperately.

"Oh Rose, I'm so glad to see you. Any friendly face would have worked but I'm glad it's you." He held on to her tighter and Rose found it a bit hard to breathe. She knew he needed this though.

"I'm so sorry about what happened Jack."

"Me too," he gasped. "I don't care how you got here, or where the Doctor is, I'm just glad you're here." Finally he let go of her. "So, where's the Doctor?" He said, as if he hadn't heard what he just said. Despite the situation, Rose couldn't help but chuckle.

"I thought you said you won't...didn't care."

"Well, now I do. So come on, where's that clone Doctor of yours?" He looked down and noticed the ring on her finger. "Mrs. Clone Doctor, no doubt."

"Oi, there's a perception filter on this!" Sarah Jane, Harry nor the younger Doctor had noticed her wedding ring.

"Come on Rosie, I work with a perception filter every day," he pointed up where the upper entrance to Torchwood was. He smiled in joy, glad to see at least one of his friends happy. But Rose crushed that with two words.

"He's dead."

"What? Come in, tell me all about it." As much as she hated to talk about it (she hadn't even told Sarah Jane about John's death) Jack was her dearest and oldest friend besides Mickey and he had a right to know. Mickey, she'd have to find him...no, she didn't deserve to see him again, not after all the pain she had put him through. Her old boyfriend probably never wanted to see her again, and with good reason.

So she let Jack lead her up to his office and she explained everything, pouring her heart out for the first time. She thought he would be sympathetic towards the Doctor like Sarah Jane had, but she was surprised to find that hatred that also lingered in her heart.

"He thinks he's so good, saving people he doesn't even know, but yet he lets our loved ones die." Jack knew he couldn't blame the Doctor for what had happened to Susie, Estelle, Owen or Tosh, they had been his responsibility, but the whole Earth had been in danger when the children of Earth talked, and Ianto had given his life trying to stop it. Gwen even begged for the Doctor she never even knew, and yet not a sign. He had left all of them on their own, and the whole planet had nearly been enslaved. "He could have done something." Hell, he couldn't even talk to his own daughter again, ever. He closed his eyes and shuddered. Doing that to her was the worst thing he had ever done, even worse than the things he had done back when he was just a thief and a conman.

Rose couldn't reply, not because she didn't know what to say, but because her headache had returned in full force. Jack saw her wince.

"Rose, are you okay?"

"My head," she gasped, the pain becoming too great. Jack rushed to her side as she collapsed to her knees, gripping the sides of her head. Jack grabbed her shoulders, truly afraid for his friend. He was shocked as her previously raven black hair shimmered to her original blonde, albeit a more natural shade. She looked into his eyes and smiled sadly. She kissed him on the cheek as a sister would to her brother, right before she felt her body fling itself to another time.

* * *

Meanwhile the Doctor in the bow tie gasped, holding his head as previously locked memories filled his mind.

"Rose!" He gasped, remembering the black-haired woman with the bitter personality. Oh, she had never been a figment of his imagination. She had been real. She was here, and she was mad at him.

_"Oh, so what, you're going to stop me? Try to govern my life, make my choices for me, like you always have? I don't need you to tell me how to live my life."_

_"You really want to know what my problem is with you? If someone doesn't agree with you, they must be wrong. You think you're the only one who knows exactly what they're doing. News flash, but you're not. I've been doing this for a while, and I don't need to be told how to do this._

_"I miss him so much."_

He had been surprised at how damaged those words had sounded coming out of her mouth. He hadn't recognised it then, but now he realised that it was the voice of someone who had lost everything. It sounded exactly like his own voice.

He knew he had to find her. Right now.

_Rose, I'm coming for you._

* * *

**Had you going there at the end of the last chapter didn't I? haha, couldn't help it, I haven't written enough of Four in my short...ish lifetime :)**

**P.S. I love Harry dearly, I'm just poking fun :) (RIP Ms. Sladen :/) Hope that scene with Rose and Tory didn't cross any boundaries, I mean, I'd totally understand if she needed to do something like that, losing John would be like losing your own soul, especially in that traumatic way I would think.  
**


	5. Lost in the Dark

**This is the last chapter besides the epilogue. (it came up so fast!)**

**This chapter contains the excerpt from the photo manip I made (clearly without the intention of making it into a fanfic, except I got so many requests asking for this) View it again here: rosebadwolftyler. deviant art. (c-o-m/) art/ In-the-Dark-Eleven-Rose-329204468 (again, without the spaces, () and the - in com)**

Chapter 5: Lost in the Dark

_"Hello from the world below. I'm watching the sun burning As the world is slowly turning. And I know that in letting go I'm learning how to live through the life I have to give."_

* * *

Rose gasped as she collapsed on an empty street. Her heart clenched fearfully. She had waited too long to find the Doctor, just like John told her not to do. Now she was starting to lose control of her powers.

Her eyes widened as suddenly a familiar noise rose up around her. She scrambled behind a wall and stood up, peering around the corner as the TARDIS faded into view. Despite everything that had been happening lately, she still had doubts. Would he be afraid of her new powers? Would he be glad to see her again, or just imagine her to be part of his imagination? Would she be able to see him without losing control of all her pent up anger?

The door to the TARDIS opened and the Doctor in the correct time line stepped out. He sniffed, as if catching her scent. She crouched further behind the wall, her heart telling her to stay but her head telling her to run. He was coming closer, any minute now he'd- Rose gasped and grabbed her head as her eyes flashed gold. There was no way she could control her powers now she-

"Rose?"

"No!" She cried, stepping back at seeing him. She still wasn't ready. John had died because of him. She had lost everything because-

She stumbled back as her headache flared again. The Doctor caught her as she fell.

"Doctor," she managed to gasp out, before the world around her faded into darkness.

The Doctor heaved her unconscious form in her arms and carried her bridal style back to the TARDIS

* * *

Rose couldn't stop the shaking of her body as she found herself in a dark place. Everywhere she looked, there was only darkness. She huddled down and grabbed her knees, scared beyond reason of this darkness that seemed to penetrate even into her soul.

"John," she gasped out, wishing he was with her now more than anything. "John," she muttered again, burying her head in her knees.

Rose's mind had become trapped in the Void.

* * *

The Doctor had been watching Rose as she lay on the examining table in the Med Bay of the TARDIS. She hadn't woken up yet, but a few minutes ago she began rocking back and forth whispering the name 'John'. He could only assume that was the name the Metacrisis had given himself, and his guilt grew even more. He remembered what she had said on that ice planet, back when he was much younger, carefree and with a penchant for impossibly long scarves.

_"How do you know who I am, you don't know what I've been through, what I've lost!"_

She had sounded so old. So damaged beyond belief. What had he done? He realised now he had made a terrible mistake leaving her with the clone, hoping that the vortex left in her so long ago wouldn't cause her any harm. He had been wrong, so wrong, and Rose had had to pay the price with everything she held dear. Even the Doctor he had left for her.

Now he had to help her, to save her from being lost forever in the dark, which was what would happen to her if her cells came completely out of alignment. Already her mind was slipping into the Void, a place that was neither reality nor a part of the Time Vortex. If he didn't hurry, her body would start to enter the Void as well. He did a few quick tests and figured out what he had suspected. Her cells were made of Huon particles now, bonding her to the TARDIS, and likewise, the Time Vortex, which explained why he had been able to see her back in his fourth life.

Now that he thought of it, he had heard numerous times over his long life about a woman who had saved planets and civilizations, a woman who glowed gold, who could change her appearance at will and howled against the raging darkness in her soul. He just never put it all together. His Bad Wolf had been traveling across the universe, for who knows how long, becoming a lost traveller without a home or a single friend, all because of him.

Well, now it was his turn to make it all right.

* * *

Rose was deathly afraid. She had lost all sense of time, day, night, living, breathing, death. All she knew was darkness. The Void screamed at her, tearing at her insides until she knew nothing else. However, there was one thing she knew, one familiar, shining face she knew she once loved.

"John," she said to wave off the suppressing black. "John."

"Rose?" She heard a voice call to her.

"John?" She leapt up, her heart leaping in hope.

"No, it's the Doctor, Rose, you need to follow my voice."

"Doctor?" The name was unfamiliar, but as she thought about it, a face started to appear to her. She did as she was told and followed the voice.

"Yes, that's it. Rose, follow my voice. You're almost there." Rose kept walking in blind faith until a shine of bright light grew in front of her. Pretty soon, the same face she had seen before appeared in front of her. Not Beloved John, but this Doc-tor. As soon as he was in front of her she threw her arms around him, grasping the lapels of his brown jacket. "Shh, I got you." He guided her in the same direction she had been walking in. "Follow the light," he said to her. They both walked into the glowing light in front of them.

* * *

Both Rose and the Doctor gasped as they came awake. The Doctor quickly removed his fingers from Rose's temples. Her breaths came in short rasps as she tried desperately to fill her lungs with oxygen, not realising that her heart had nearly stopped. The Doctor leaned over and rested his hands on his knees, also feeling like hell. He had just given Rose a good portion of his Huon particles to realign her cells. He'd be fine, and she'd never need any more again, but it still drained his energy.

"Doctor," Rose gasped, everything that had happened slowly coming back to her. The Doctor was immediately by her side.

"I'm here," he replied, leaning over her. She struggled to get up and the Doctor helped her. As soon as she was upright she hopped off the examining table. She swayed for a bit but didn't lose her balance completely. After that,she gave a cold but genuine smile to the Doctor.

"Thank you." she said simply, before walking out. The Doctor stood there, a bit speechless.

"Thank you?" He mouthed incredulously, before taking off after her.

"Rose, where are you going?"

"I'm leaving, what does it look like?"

"But...but you can't just leave!" She stopped to look at him but kept her mouth shut, knowing that whatever was to come out of her mouth now would be spiteful and mean, and she didn't want to say that to the man who just saved her from a fate worse than death. She just wanted off this ship. "I saved your life!" The Doctor continued.

"Yes, and I said thank you. Can I go now?" The Doctor searched his mind for any ideas to keep her here. He just found her, and he would be damned if he was going to lose her again. Plus he knew he hadn't finished healing her bitter heart yet.

"Uhm, I think you should stay here."

"Because...?"

"I don't think you should try to jump yet until your body's fully healed." Rose sighed, staring up at the ceiling.

"I know what you're doing." The Doctor feigned innocence.

"What am I doing?"

"You're stalling, trying to think of a way to keep me here. One thought and you'd never see me again, that's all it would take." The Doctor's hearts clenched fearfully at that.

"You're right." he said, coming up to her. "I did you wrong, in so many ways unimaginable. Please, just give me three days to change your mind. Just three days."

"Fine, now can you please tell me where my room is? You seemed to have changed the TARDIS interior while I was gone."

"Ah...funny story about that. Y'see, the TARDIS had to get rid of a living asteroid inside her console, and in the struggle she had to delete a few rooms. Well, all of them, except the console room." Rose was speechless for a moment.

"Y-you deleted my room? All my stuff?"

"No, now see, here's the good news. The TARDIS dumped all your stuff into the console room, sentimental old thing."

"You really have no room to talk."

"What? I'm not sentimental!"

"Oh really, 'red bicycle when you were twelve', 'I bet you're gonna have a really great year'. Ring any bells? You were my math tutor for bloody sake!" The Doctor shifted his feet nervously.

"Those last two times, I was dying, well, that last time I was sure I was gonna die for good. Even went on a few of Jack's stag parties. Never doing that again."

"Did you go see Sarah Jane?"

"No, why?"

"You're still so wrapped up in yourself. You pop in when it's beneficial for you, but you're never there when we 'actually need you'!"

"Does Sarah Jane need me?" He asked point blank.

"Did Jack tell you about Ianto?" She countered.

"Hey! Now you're putting undue pressure on me." He pointed a finger at her accusingly, before waving his arms in helplessness. "I can't always be there when he calls, when any of you call. I was kind of going through my own crisis at the moment, and was anybody there for me? No!"

"You could have found someone, Sarah Jane, Martha, anyone, and told them what was happening, they could have helped you!"

"I'd just get them killed."

"Oh, there it is right there!" She gave a mocking laugh. "You think you're protecting us by cutting yourself off from us!"

"I am!"

"Like you protected me when you abandoned me with John?" The Doctor hung his head.

"What was I supposed to do? You should have been happy, none of this should have happened the way it did."

"Well, it didn't. And you could have let us stay! 'Say, there's something wrong with her, I think I'll just leave her in another universe for my half clone to figure out'. What if I hadn't come to this universe? I would have died, and John probably would have killed himself in despair because he couldn't do a damn thing! He owned up to his responsibilities, not like you. He was a better man than you'll ever be!" She suddenly shut up, clasping a hand to her mouth. "I'm sorry." She said softly. "I must sound ungrateful." _**(A.N. sorry about the bar here, I can't get it off!)**_

* * *

"No Rose. You're completely in your right to say those things. I should have let you stay. I should have helped." They were both quiet for a moment. Rose felt awkward, still not feeling that she could forgive him yet.

So, where's my stuff?" He motioned for her to follow him. After a few minutes they reached a door. "What room is this?" She asked as the Doctor opened the door.

"It's my room." Rose stepped inside and saw it was true. She had only been in his room a few times when she used to travel with him. Albeit it looked a bit different with the interior change, but it was still simple, as he preferred it. Against the back wall lay everything that used to be in her room, even the furniture. Clothes, makeup, dressers, even her mattress.

Without a word Rose grabbed the mattress and dragged it out of the Doctor's room. She would not sleep in his room. Hell no. The Doctor stood there with slightly bemused look on his face. He followed her out into the hallway, not bothering to help her with the heavy mattress, wondering if she knew she had the power to just zap her and the mattress wherever she wanted to go.

Rose continued to drag it until she reached a room a considerable distance down the hallway from the Doctor's room. She stepped inside and saw the room was empty. She then set the mattress in the middle of the room, one thought changing her outfit to a set of pyjamas, and laid on the mattress. With another motion she had a pillow and a blanket under and on her.

"Goodnight Rose." The Doctor said as he left. He didn't hear a reply.

* * *

Rose knew she didn't need sleep. Hell, she hadn't slept since she lost John. But she couldn't think of any other way to escape the Doctor without saying something she'd regret. So, she snuggled deeper into her covers and tried to fall asleep.

* * *

The Doctor had mixed feelings as he walked down the hallway back to his room. He'd have to think of something and fast. He knew Rose would keep her promise and after three days he'd never see her again, if only he could find a way to show her how much he wanted her here. And how much he was sorry about what had happened. But how? He sat down on the bed in his room and prepared for a night of hard-core thought.

* * *

A few hours later the Doctor felt a nudging from the TARDIS, telling him that something was wrong with Rose. He took off down the hallway as fast as he feet could take him and burst into Rose's makeshift bedroom. She was asleep, but rocking back and forth, tears streaming down her face.

"John!" She cried out. The Doctor rushed to her side and tried to wake her up. Her eyes flashed open and she pounced on the Doctor, beating him. "Bring him back!"

"Rose, stop, you're having a nightmare!"

"It's all your fault Doctor, now bring him back!" He grabbed Rose's wrists to stop her beating on him. She struggled for a bit, before her face crumpled and she began sobbing. "Please, bring him back. I need him." The Doctor pulled her to his chest and held her as she cried into his shirt. He wasn't surprised she had broken down, with her mind being trapped in the Void for so long he didn't expect anything less.

Being awake, she could stave off everything that was going on in her head, but at night she had unknowingly let those flood gates open. "I need him." She whispered again. The Doctor pulled her back to look into her eyes. She was most definitely awake now.

"I'm sorry," he said, before putting his fingers on her temples. He then put her mind to sleep. He didn't touch her memories, even he wouldn't step that far to get what he wanted. Instead, as he laid her down in her induced dream state, he played a memory of his own for her, one that she hadn't been there for...

_ The Doctor sighed heavily, knowing what he had to do. Without the TARDIS, there wasn't much he could do for Rose. He'd be worthless. He had to know what was calling him into the pit._

_"If you talk to Rose, just tell her...oh she knows." He released the clip supporting him, letting himself fall freely, barely catching Rose's first words as their communication was cut off._

_Sometime later when he woke up, he was glad to see he hasn't broken anything, or gone so far as regenerated. He stood up and noticed the hieroglyphs on the wall..._

_"Oh, the rocket. I'd have to sacrifice Rose. If I kill you, I kill her..." That's the choice I have to make. Rose or the universe._

_I could save the world but lose you!  
_

_"Except that implies, that in this grand scheme of gods and devils, that she's just a victim. But I've seen a lot in this universe. Oh I've seen good gods and bad gods and demi gods and would-be gods...out of all that, out of that whole pantheon...if I believe in one thing, just one thing...I believe in her!"  
_

_"I believe in her."_

"I still believe in you Rose."

* * *

That morning Rose snapped out of her dream state. She sat up quickly, disoriented, forgetting where she was. She looked around and slowly the events of the previous night came back to her. She remembered that horrible nightmare about John...

_"John!" Rose cried, throwing herself to the edge of the precipice and grabbing his hand just before he fell. But her grip was weakening, and she didn't have the strength to pull him out. She grasped his hand desperately with both her hands. "Hold on!" She yelled again. John's eyes were so full of fear, hanging over the edge of the deep, dark, endless pit. "No!" Rose screamed as her grip started to weaken and he began to slip. He had to know. He had to know before she lost him forever. "John, I love you!" Her husband smiled, despite the situation._

_"Quite right too. And I guess, if it's my last chance to say it...Rose Tyler-" the last of his fingers lost their grip on her hand and he plunged into the darkness._

_"NO!" Rose screamed at the top of her lungs. Without another thought she threw herself into the pit after him. But he wasn't there. All that was there was the never ending darkness, just like in the Void..._

She remembered screaming at the Doctor that it was all his fault. She remembered crying into his chest uncontrollably and his cold hands on her warm temple. She gasped as the scene he had shown her struck her suddenly.

_"I still believe in you Rose."_ His new voice she wasn't too familiar with still resounded in her brain as if he had just said them.

_"I still believe in you Rose."_ She believed those extra memories were real and, even though she had been upset with him for falling into the pit in the first place and making her believe that he was dead beyond all doubt, knowing he said that about her deadened the old pain a little.

Rose sighed. She found she wasn't as mad at him as like her hysterical state last night but...how could she ever forgive him? He had ruined her life. He knew there was something wrong with her and hadn't bothered to help, and in the end it had cost John his life, and Rose could never see her family again. Still...he had made a mistake, and he admitted it.

Rose snapped out of her thoughts and viewed the room around her that she had chosen to sleep in last night. She was surprised to find all her stuff around her like it had been her old bedroom. Even her makeup was littered on the vanity like she'd never left. Sure he's not sentimental. Not at all.

* * *

Rose hardly ever saw the Doctor over the next three days, and it was mainly because of her. She felt awkward around him, knowing he was so desperate to keep her here with him. The only thing she wanted to do was to zap herself out of here and go to the beach planet of Kelsador 2, but she had made a promise, and Rose Tyler never broke her own promises. They may be put on hold, but never broken.

She mainly hid in the theatre and the garden room, avoiding her favorite rooms because she knew they were the Doctor's favorites too. The library was both cosy and a wondrous place, and the One room, or the Gallifrey re-creation room was beautiful and incredible beyond words.

She would see a flash of a dark coat every one in a while as he dashed around the TARDIS. She could hear him mumbling to himself, coming up with ideas, any way to convince her that it was a good idea to stay.

But how did she feel? Did she really think anything the Doctor would do could cause her to make the decision to stay? To constantly be by the side of the man who ruined her life?

She really couldn't say, so she decided to just wait it out and see what was going to happen.

* * *

The night of the second day the Doctor had everything ready. He landed the TARDIS in a specific location and left to grab one last thing. He brought it inside and hid it in the pocket of his "bigger on the inside" jacket. He sat down on the captain's chair and thought through the feelings swirling around in his head.

Before, he'd always have a hard time thinking about those frankly terrifying feelings he had for his favorite blonde companion, but why now could he say without a doubt that he loved her? He'd lost her once and when she came back, he still couldn't say it. Was it because he missed the relationship he'd had with River? Had the loss of Amy and Rory caused him to want something that would last?

Frankly, he couldn't give a damn. He loved her, and he wasn't going to lose her, ever again. If she said no to his proposal to travel with him, well...he didn't know what he'd do. If he could, he'd spend the rest of his long life trying to convince her to stay. And nothing could distract him from that goal, not even finding the impossible girl Clara.

* * *

On the morning of the third day Rose got out of bed and changed from her night clothes and into a blue sundress with yellow polka dots. Just because she was still moody didn't mean her outfit had to be. Her blonde hair morphed to a dark chocolate brown. Now to see what the Doctor had planned for her.

* * *

When Rose stepped out into the console room she wasn't surprised to find the Doctor at the console working the controls. He had a hard time not looking at her, praying that this would work.

"Where are we going?" Rose asked.

"I want to take you somewhere." the Doctor replied. Even the TARDIS seemed a bit sombre as she landed gently where the Doctor had piloted her. The Doctor motioned for her to go out the doors first.

Rose pushed the doors open gently and stepped outside into bright sunlight. They had landed on a hilltop with red grass beneath their feet. She turned around and saw they were under the shade of a large tree with blue leaves. As soon as she noticed the gravestone under the tree she heard the Doctor step out behind her.

"This planet is the closest thing to Gallifrey I've found yet," the Doctor said quietly. "The tree leaves are blue instead of silver and they only have one sun, but I don't think John would have minded."

"He would have loved it here. He talked about Gallifrey all the time." She knelt down to read the inscription.

_John Tyler-Noble. Beloved Husband and Brother._

It was simple, but it was enough. The Doctor handed her a rose from out of his nearly-endless pocket. Ordinarily she'd be put off by the cliche-ness of it all, but John had loved to tease her about how much she hated roses and brought them for her all the time. Plus, it seemed to fit. A Rose for her Doctor. She laid it on the ground in front of the tombstone.

"He's okay, isn't he?" She shivered, the image of him falling into that endless pit still haunting her.

"Oh yeah. I'm sure of it."

"He doesn't just 'not exist' right?" The Doctor nodded.

"If there is an afterlife, he is most definitely there." She turned around and looked at him, seeing if he was being sincere. He smiled at her sadly. Rose looked back at the gravestone for a moment. She reached a hand and ran it over the top, whispering "I love you". She then stood up and embraced the Doctor with dry eyes. She had shed all the tears she would ever need to.

"Thank you." she said. The Doctor held her close, breathing in her scent. He took a breath, preparing to say the speech he had planned, hoping she would believe his honesty.

"I couldn't even begin to come up with any sort of apology that would ever make up for what I did to you. And you have every reason to leave and never forgive me or even see me again. All I'm asking is that you stay. I've missed you since I left you, so much at times I could barely breathe, even though it was lifetimes ago. You made me such a better man than I had ever been after the Time War. And I know without a doubt you did the same for John. You made us both better. Now let me repay you by doing the same for you. Will you travel with me, Rose?" She pulled back and looked at him.

"I know you're truly sorry about what happened, and there's no way you could ever bring John back. If there was I know you wouldn't hesitate to do it." She sighed. "Honestly, you're the only thing I have left now. When I was traveling on my own, I never really met anyone I could call a friend, someone who was always there who I could count on, laugh with, travel the stars with. I hate to say it but I missed you too. So yeah...I'll stay with you. Besides, that's what John would want me to do." The Doctor let out a relieved sigh. Suddenly he blurted out

"I love you," Rose only smiled sadly at this. She ran a hand over the side of his face.

"I'm so sorry Doctor. I can't say I'll never love you back, but right now I still feel like John's wife. Ever since we met, those four years before I had John I was waiting for you to say those words, even when I asked you point blank, you still couldn't say it."

_"Does it need saying?"_

"John said it to me every chance he got."

"But-"

"Yes, I know it's different. You thought we were both human, that we would be happy with our short human lives. Now I'm different, I'm sure I'll live as long, maybe even longer than you. The point is, I loved you, but I never knew what it felt like for you to love me back, even if you were hiding it. I didn't just love John, I gave him my heart. That's not something I can get over easily."

"So...someday?" His eyes were shining with hope and tears.

"I can't promise that Doctor. But I also can't deny it. I'm sorry, that's all I can give." And the Doctor would take it.

"Okay." He hugged her shoulder and they both looked at John's grave. "Come on, let's go home." The Doctor guided her back to the TARDIS. For Rose, this was the closest she had felt to being okay in a really, really long time. For one, hearing that she had a home again filled a hole in her heart she didn't even know she had. And yes, she'd always miss John, but doing this had given her a chance to put the past behind and to finally move on.

And though that future may not always be so bright, at least she could always count on the Doctor to catch her every time she fell.

* * *

**Still have the Epilogue! Please review! :)**


	6. Epilogue - Life in the Light

**How many of you have seen the trailers for the 50th? My first reaction? ROSEISTHEBADWOLFBADWOLDBADWOLF! sjdjckdkdesksklkkkkmdddf...XD You know what would be a real plot twist though? To have Peter Capaldi make an appearance, not as regenerating, but maybe a year or two in, fully established in his character. We'd have another Doctor and something that's never been done on DW before! oh well, that's just me ruminating :)**

* * *

Epilogue: Life in the Light

_"Yeah hello to the world below. I'm watching the world spinning, this night seems so unending. Well I'll follow to a place I know That's only the beginning, start over after ending..." ~Lifehouse_

* * *

_A few weeks later..._

"So, her name is Clara Oswin Oswald, you've seen her twice, and both times she's died?" The Doctor had paused his search for the impossible girl to focus on restoring his friendship with Rose. After a few weeks he had spilled everything he knew about Clara, or Oswin or whoever she was, albeit the little he knew.

It was hard to describe what exactly his relationship with Rose was right now. It was by no means what it had been before, but it wasn't exactly uncomfortable either. They hardly ever touched, except when he grabbed her hand just before they took off running, but there were no extra hugs or any sort of excuse to be in contact like before.

Also, at first Rose had avoided mentioning John and her life with him, but gradually she began to open up and tell the Doctor about something funny her husband had done, or what flowers they had at their wedding.

And the Doctor never argued with her. Ever. He was just glad for every moment she didn't hate him. They joked around a bit into an easy repartee, but in between, there would be these quiet moments when it wasn't hard to tell what the other was thinking. Overall their future looked hopeful, and the Doctor held no doubts that, over time, she would let him into her heart.

"Yep, that's the gist of it. I figure if I can find her, the real Clara, whatever is happening might start to make sense."

"That would be a first for you," Rose replied, letting her tongue stick out her mouth in a smile she hadn't made in a very long time.

"It would, wouldn't it?" He said, laughing. "Hey, hand me that robe I set on the console, will you?" Rose picked up a long, brown robe and threw it to him. He caught it easily and put it on.

"What, did you enter some kind of convent or something?"

"Of the sorts. Sorry, Cumbria in 1207 they consider women to be demons so you'll have to stay in here while I take some time to meditate on this. I don't want to leave you, but I need to spend some time trying to figure out how to find Clara, without any distractions. You'll be okay while I'm gone?"

"I always am." She looked a little torn on what to do, so in a quick move she gave him a peck on the cheek. The Doctor gave her the biggest grin she had ever seen in this regeneration. He strode towards the door as he called back to her.

"I'll be home soon."

"Don't keep me waiting." The Doctor laughed as he opened the door and walked out.

* * *

_Sometime later..._

"Doctor!" Rose burst out of the TARDIS, phone in hand, ignoring the shocked looks the other monks were giving her. "It's Clara Oswald, she needs help with her WiFi!"

**END**

* * *

**Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed! Don't forget to tell me what you think! I don't know when I'll post a story next so I'll just say see you later! Have a fantastic, brilliant and cool 50th! :D ~Katy  
**

***BadWolf***


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